Sry I called you an 8
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
