Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
