found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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