Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
