Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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