dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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