so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
