then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
