i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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