There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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