My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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