what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
