Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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