my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
