I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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