so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
