she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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