Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
