look no pants
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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