If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize