I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
