shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
