When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
