Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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