yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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