Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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