Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
