In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my being single is dangerous.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
