The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
