Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
