i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
