They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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