we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize