I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
