i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
