I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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