My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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