I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
