I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
