So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
