that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
