I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
