I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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