Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
