I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
