did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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