i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
