Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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