youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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