i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
