Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
