It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
