I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
