he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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