did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
