She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
