Nicole vs. Life
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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