CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I need to sanitize my soul.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
